reality

I am just trying to remember
when it stopped being a dream
and turned into real life,
because dreaming was
a whole lot easier than living

jumping?

Flying? Falling?

either way, it's not bothering

anybody else

so what do you care

reputations

You're dead already, she reminded me. What is there to protect?

me

carrying a recognizable picture of herself
because she got dressed in the dark, so
there's no telling how close she came to her usual self

false hopes

I am still hoping yesterday gets better.

speed

frustrated because it's going too fast to see
but if you could see it, it wouldn't make
any sense because you'd be looking too close

catching the lies

How hard is it to make stuff up? she said.
Not hard at all, I said. The real trick is
knowing to stop before you get confused.

weeds

Not sure when you stop thinking
dandelions are beautiful, but figures
it's somewhere around the time you
get a job & can afford lawn chemicals

simlies

Time stands still best
in moments that look
suspiciously like ordinary life.

my sister

has a beautiful soul but hasn't found a way to express it yet

just let go

If you hold on to the paddle, she said,

it's easier to maintain the illusion of control.

But it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you.

the end

Leaning out as far as she can,
hoping she'll fall soon,
so she can stop worrying about
whether it will happen or not.

emptyness

I was waiting for such a long time,
she said. I thought you forgot.
It's hard to forget, I said,
when there is such an empty
space when you are gone.

hang on tight

Of course I hang on tight, she said.
You can't believe the kind of stuff
that happens when you let go.

story telling

She tried hard to tell the truth
but it wasn't always that obvious,
so usually she just said the first
thing that came to mind.

She always camouflaged herself as a

crowd. I've never been lonely, she said,

but sometimes it's hard to think above the noise.

coloring

There was a single blue line of crayon

drawn across every wall in the house.

What does it mean? I said. A pirate

needs the sight of the sea, he said &

then he pulled his eye patch down

& turned and sailed away.

web of life

there came a moment

in the middle of the song

when he suddenly felt every

heartbeat in the room & after

that he never forgot he was

part of something much bigger

maybe, maybe not?

It took me a long time, she said, to stop confusing safety with love.

clear choice

I read somewhere that if given a choice
between sex & peace of mind,
most people would choose peace.

Personally, I said, I do fine with a little anxiety.

chaos theory

I'm beginning to think peace
is something we made up
to keep us from being satisfied
with all this luscious chaos

bitter end

I'm sick & tired

of all these judgmental people,

I hope they burn in hell for it.

bigger shoes to fill

When I was young, I used to wear my

mother's shoes & stomp around, making

the world a better place for us all & today

I see I'm not the only one who did that &

those shoes aren't anywhere big enough

for who we are now.

ear to ear

I said I could not see her eyes
under her hat & she smiled
mysteriously & said she liked it that way.

august rush

he followed the sun & she followed the
stars & in dreams they listened closely
for the beginning of all things, for that
was where they knew they'd find each other

clear head, clear sky

I've always liked the time before dawn
because there's no one around to remind
me who I'm supposed to be, so it's easier
to remember who I am

act a fool

Of course I act like a barbarian,
They're the only ones who have any fun in this life.

glasses

I've learned not to look too closely, she said.
Otherwise I'd just keep finding out stuff
that'd bug me & we'd never get along.

till death do us part

Can I count on you to be there, no matter
what? she said & I said no & she said what
kind of friend are you? & I said the kind
who won't lie to you any time you want &
I think she kept me around as a curiosity after that

And in the end she found I was the one who was always there...

makebelieve

I used to be pretty clear on what was real
& what I made up, but with everything
going on in the world, none of that seems to matter,
so I just decided to talk less & smile to myself more,
so as not to add to the general confusion

monuments of nothing

I don't have a whole lot of excuses
for what's gone wrong with my life,
But the ones I do have are really good.

ups and downs

Life is a slope
if you begin to become content
with where you are then
you will slide backward

keep moving up
even if you must drag yourself

my major

I have so much less stress,
now that I've given up on ambition.

looking through broken glass

You see me better than I am,
and
I'm worried what'll happen when your vision changes...

breating

I'm just going to hide
here in this paper bag
until death comes, she said.
It could be a long time, I said.
There was a pause & then
her head popped out.
You think I should have
a hobby while I wait? she said.

I am tired of knowing everything without ever being sure

constructive criticism

Most people she never tells about the
tightrope because she doesn't want to
listen to their helpful comments from the ground.

wise one

I didn't listen to her
because she was my mother
& wouldn't know anything
until I was much older.

but she was always right...

giving back

She left pieces of her life
behind her everywhere
she went. It's easier to feel
the sunlight without them, she said.

make up your mind

You don't have to be a
bundle of contradictions
to be a woman, she said.
But we all agreed it helps

its the alcohol

his body keeps getting bigger & his head keeps getting smaller & he has a theory about it but it doesn't make sense until he's on his sixth or seventh beer

wasted

Some days I think life would be a whole lot more fun if I just knew how to make it a whole lot more fun (& you can pretty well imagine how those days go).

cardboard

Box filled with impressions from all her travels, but they've bounced around enough that now it's just a layer of dust on the bottom.

space

She kept asking if the
stories were true. I kept
asking her if it mattered.

We finally gave up.

She was looking for a

place to stand

and I wanted a place to fly.

leaps of faith

for a long
time, she
flew only
when she
thought
no one
else was
watching

dark garden

I once had a garden
filled with flowers that
only grew dark thoughts,

but they needed constant
attention,

and one day I decided
I had better things to do.

move over columbus

When I first discovered
the moon, I gave it a
different name. But everyone
kept calling it the moon.

The real name never caught on...

yellow buttons

She told me
once that the
year she went
to England
she painted
all her buttons
yellow so
she would
remember
what the
sun felt like.

its contagious

The first time her laughter
unfurled its wings in the wind,
we knew that the world would
never be the same.

hide and seek

I was never good at hide and seek
because I'd always make enough
noise so my friends would be sure
to find me. I don't have anyone to
play those games anymore.

But now and then I make enough
noise just in case someone is still
looking and just hasn't found me yet.

waiting, hoping, wishing

I used to wait for a sign before I did anything.
The one night I had a dream and an angel in
black tights came to me and said,
You can start anytime now and then
I asked is this a sign?
and the angle started laughing and I woke up.

Now, I think the whole world is filled with signs,
but if there's no laughter...
I know they're not for me.

lost and found

The fisherman was digging through his net when he found something shine in the much and it turned out to be the soul of a lost boy.

He gave it to me and I said I wonder how I can return it and he shrugged and said he found stuff like that all the time.

You'd be amazed at what people loose, he said.

reincarnation

A few said they'd be
horses, others birds.

Most said they'd be
some sort of cat.

My friend said she'd
like to come back as
a porcupine.

I don't like crowds,
she said.

selfless

Oh no, she said, you
can't say just any
old thing to the wind.

Only the deepest
secrets will do.

...and also you must
not use the letter i

rem

what I am mostly good at is sleeping,
i told him in confidence, but I just
dont see much future in it.

XXX

My friend Patrick once
told me there were 3 rules
for hardcore music.

Make sure its loud, rock
whatever you wear and
if its not going your way,
kill yourself.

It has no basis in reality,
he added. Thats why I like it.

shapes and colors

We lay there and looked up at
the night sky and he told me
about stars called blue squares
and red swirls and I told her I'd
never heard of them.

Ofcourse not, she said,
the really important stuff they
never tell you. You have to
imagine it on your own.

mind over matter

Most of the stuff
I say is true because
I saw it in a dream
and I dont have the
presence of mind
to make up lies
when I am asleep...

spring

She’s worried,
About the rain not falling
But has no grass to grow.
Perhaps the sun will come,
and lever up the blades
to coil towards the sky,
And set her mind at ease.

But mother natures angry
About her petty crimes
She ignores her cries
“Yes, the sun will come”
She whispers through the wind.
“Scorching the once fertile ground,
you wished your grass would grow.”

fear is in the heart of love

She cried herself to sleep everynight,

not because she was sad but because the world was so beautiful and yet so immense, and intimidating, and life was so short.

and when I see you I really see you upsidedown

and your one fucking ugly twisted son of a bitch.

I can't even remember why I once liked you.

well I can...but that doesnt matter anymore. right?

peace.(found it on the fridge)

it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in
the midst of those things and still
be calm in your heart.

she packed her bags

she heard distant tales

of distant lands...

where dreamers were in demand.

notes on life

Last night at dinner I tried picking up my glass with my left hand instead of my right and didn't feel quite so self-assured. It was a nice feeling.

The question is not whether to have goals. The question is whether its a goal now or a goal then.

A lie can sometimes save a great amount of energy. And sometimes so can not telling a lie.

It seems as though the truth that is needed todays is always a lie by tomorrow.

The other day I heard an old woman say, "Whatever I worry about is not worth worring about."... I am glad I herd that.

Filling my head with thoughts sometimes gives me the ilusion of not being alone.

I have noticed that when I start trying I literally stick my neck out.

Everytime I think I know something, life keeps on being itself, and I am left standing on my head.

There are times I think I'm doing things on principle, but mostly I just do what feels good. But that's a principle, too.

I've read a lot of books, so I know bunches of stuff that sounds like it could be true.

What possible meaning can "I love you" have if it is an answer?

it rhymes with range

I thought I had changed-grown as a person, or well into a better person. I guess I was wrong.

I still find myself thinking horrible thoughts about the people I despise for no reason.
I still obsess over that one guy who never really cared.
I still continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

but lets be serious,
I am human.

maybe I am incapable of change.